TOMBOYS OR TRANSGENDER?

The Problem with the Rush to Surgery

Childhood Differences

We all remember the kids who were “different.”  Many were our friends but enjoyed activities that weren’t our style.  We had tomboys—girls who hung with the boys and like sports more than dress-up and dolls.  We knew boys who hated sports and preferred such as chess or dancing.  While they were teased, the vast majority of them went on to living as their birth sex.

As we became teenagers, many of us felt discomfort in our own growing and transforming bodies.  Hormones played a role as did the idea of what a girl or boy should be.  Starting puberty at a then extremely young age, I felt uncomfortable with the stares of boys and even men at my changing body.  I also found it disempowering when I liked a boy but was supposed to wait for him to notice me.  (Yes, things have changed on that front).

There were kids in high school I knew who had some psychological issues.  Those who got help were better off, but as I noticed as they grew older, most of us grew out of our discomfort.  Some discovered that they were attracted to their same sex, but I never met anyone who felt they were actually the wrong sex.  Homosexuality was increasingly accepted.

What struck me as I matured was how interesting it was to get to know people who had different life styles, opinions and desires.  If we only know people who are just like us, it can be boring—it’s like being friends with yourself.  Our definition of what a man or woman “should” be broadens as we age and meet a variety of people.

The Problem with Trusting Kids

Over the years, we have seen a number of situations where what a child/teenager feels is either not reality or is related to a short-term lack of self-esteem or confidence or, in many cases, peer pressure.  An example might be of girls who all try to get pregnant as part of a group goal, usually led by a dominant teen.  There have been cases of suicide pacts among friends.  We’ve all read of the cases of people indicted for child abuse when in fact, the adults pushed the kids to agree they had been abused when no abuse has happened.  Of course, there are many cases where abuse has happened, but innocent people have also been railroaded because on the whole, a lot of kids like to please adults in charge.  They’ve learned that life is easier and perhaps more rewarding when they do.  We’ve probably all been caught up in that at one time or another.

Kids also can feel things very deeply while lacking many of the resources to solve, understand, get help or compartmentalize the “joys” of teenage life.  I remember a few “dark nights of the soul,” and feel grateful I survived them.  I didn’t know how to ask for help.  But help should be measured and with minimal impact on future choices and health.

The Fad of Gender Dysphoria

I’ve seen little evidence that kids/teens are more miserable than we were when I was young, except for the past two years of government overreach in managing the CCP virus.  In the past, we truly feared death due to an atomic war.   We had much more authoritarian parents and teachers and far less freedom in most cases.  We had to amuse ourselves; unlimited TV, video, internet, phones were not options for us.

Though it is true that from the beginning of time, some people felt that their birth gender wasn’t right, the numbers have always been very low.  Some of that may be lack of acceptance.  However, the quick run-up in the number of kids identifying this way has more to do with the acceptance and direction of non-parent adults.  Only recently have teachers felt that they have the right not just to instruct on academic subjects but on health, moral and political issues, areas that were formerly the province only of parents. 

What scares me is that teachers don’t tell parents about their child’s concerns and instead, push them forward into renaming themselves, getting hormones and even planning surgical alterations.  The latter is likely irreversible.  One thing many might agree on is that teenage angst should not be supported by permanent damage. 

Instead, if a kid feels attracted to what they think are the advantages of being another sex, start by talking to them about what they feel is missing.  Maybe they are feeling left out of sports activities and might be able to compete with boys.  Perhaps a boy would love to design clothes or learn ballet.  That doesn’t mean they need a sex change.  And it’s okay for teens to be uncomfortable with their bodies and their thoughts.  That’s what happens to EVERYONE as a teen.

Children should go to their parents first, but if that isn’t possible, they should have access to a doctor or psychotherapist.  Teachers should not be part of this discussion, nor should anyone who pushes one idea instead of taking the time to listen to the child.   

Government Intrusion

Now, Biden wants the government to pay for puberty blockers, hormone therapy and gender affirming surgery and to force medical professionals to provide it, regardless of their beliefs.  The Dems claim to want to be “for the children” and cognizant of international norms, but internationally, childhood gender reassignment is NOT supported.  Doctors should have the right to NOT perform services that go against their beliefs, including gender treatments and even abortion.  This is legislating to support a moral panic, not considered, careful laws to promote a healthy society.

I have to wonder how long into the future it will be before many young adults regret their decision and wonder why they weren’t protected from these life-altering mistakes.  Then, given the government’s position, costly lawsuits will result in more damage to our country because taxpayers will have to pay the costs, even as most of us don’t agree with these policies.

Instead of “for the children,” the liberal trope that excuses all ills, how about we consider “for the health, well-being and psychological development of the child with the concurrence of their parents.”  Have people wait until their adults to make this important decision.