VICTIMOLOGY

How Low Can You Go?

Remember when we venerated our heroes?  We looked up to our brave veterans, policemen and firemen.  We admired great intellectuals and noble athletes. We even had a lot of respect for a few politicians and newsmen.

These hard-working, risk-taking people showed us a path we could follow, if we were strong enough and dedicated to our goals.  One would hear someone who had succeeded credit those who went before them.  “I’m not sure I would have tried so hard and persevered through adversity if not for…”  Dr. Ben Carson was one of those people, inspired and challenged by his mother.

People prided themselves on pushing through challenges. I remember two from my childhood in Wilmette, IL.  One was a student in my class.  He had either been born without a hand or had lost it.  We never asked. His rudimentary replacement had been challenging to learn and in no way really replaced the hand he had lost and yet, he took great pride in pushing himself to greater accomplishments.  I can tell you this; he was far better in art class than me, (although that is not all that much).  His cheerful attitude and determination inspired me.  We also had a blind lawyer in town.  At the time, there wasn’t a full set of Braille law books or much help and yet, without complaint, he made it through law school and onto a successful practice.   

What happened?  When did so many decide instead to see themselves as victims? 

Victimology

Suddenly, people began to stand out because of their purported “victim” status, rather than strive to achieve and become someone with self esteem and pride.  I hear the word “pride” a lot, but it no longer means achievement.  Instead, it is pride in being what you born to be with no additional effort.  We are expected to applaud “firsts” like the first Black female vice president: but affirmative action put her there. How good can you feel about something that is just handed to you?

Those burdened by handicaps are no longer supposed to feel pride in how far they’ve come. Instead, we are supposed to pretend there’s nothing wrong, while handing them rewards they haven’t earned, even as many

***could have done so much without help.  I worked with quadriplegics at UC Berkeley; their can-do attitude made me stop complaining at how hard school was.  They didn’t complain. 

Now, everyone is trying to find a way to enhance their victimhood.  Too many women are “victims” of sexual attacks which really were only bad choices on a party evening, the kind of thing we used to just feel embarrassed about, vowing never to repeat it.  Too many Blacks cling to their slave history as if they can never get past it.  Given that there still are slaves in many places and none of these “victims” knew a slave family member, isn’t it time to focus on the opportunities instead of wallowing in despair? 

The cry is that “it isn’t my fault.  I never had a chance.  Someone else owes me.”  This posture is as un-American as it gets.  I hear the left talk about our values and culture; almost none of it has anything to do with our storied past filled with strivers and thrivers who made their luck.  The idea of a work ethic seems to have vanished, even as some of try to keep it alive.

Instead, people want to focus on the hardships in their lives and demand that others make it all better.  Missed too many classes in school and failed to do the homework?  They want the A they don’t deserve and a “freaking medal” too.  I don’t remember feeling this kind of jealousy of those who succeeded and surpassed me.  I thought – “I can do this.   I can do better.”

In a world of creators, hard workers and challengers, the economic “pie” just keeps expanding, rewarding us all.  In a world of victims, each trying to outdo the others in how tough they have it, the pie shrinks, because too many are contributing nothing to the wealth of America.

All of us face challenges.  Some got lucky in the families they were born into, the location they grew up in and the genetics that made them who they are.  But in my life, I’ve seen so many who had none of the benefits that “the elite” or the “rich” are supposed to have.  These are the people who don’t let anything or anyone stop them.  They simply refuse to accept limits.  Victims try to find more limits to cling to. 

A Solution

Accept that each of us has barriers that are thrown up against us.  We all have handicaps of various kinds, some worse than others.  But we have a choice; to cling desperately to the negatives, which are simply a weight to pull us down or to search for the positives, which, like a balloon, lift us up.  We all can do amazing things when we choose how we deal with the struggles and circumstances that seek to limit us.  As Viktor Frankl, concentration camp survivor, said,

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”